Strengthening Couple Relationships

Starting a new relationship, or taking an existing relationship to a new level of commitment, is an exciting time full of romance and adventure. 

As time passes the relationship enters a new phase. The initial excitement and adventure may be replaced by a strengthening bond. Some couples find that at some point in the relationship they begin to take each other for granted, spend less time together or feel they would like more from each other. 

We generally don't expect to succeed in any activity without working at it. Setting goals, learning new skills and getting advice from experts are strategies we use at work, at school, playing sport or developing our interests. A good teacher, coach or mentor can help us achieve our goals faster than we would manage on our own.   

It should be the same with our relationships. It takes time to develop trust, understand each other and learn how to communicate effectively. Information and advice from experts or 'coaches' can help with understanding what lies ahead or what just happened. Learning new skills in communication, negotiation and resolving conflict can also help you to develop a stronger, more supportive partnership.    

What to do?

There are many things that couples can do to build stronger relationships. Whether you are starting out or starting over, marrying or moving in, looking for a spiritual or cultural perspective or wanting information free of religious affiliation, you can choose from a range of supports from self help resources to professional services. For example:  

• Questionnaires - help couples understand themselves and each other and
  identify opinions, attitudes and even family backgrounds that contribute to conflict.
• Self-development programs - use many different formats to help couples develop healthy relationship habits, communicate with each other and resolve conflict in many different formats including DVD, books and workbooks as well as online programs .  
• Courses and group programs - topics can include intimacy and sex, strategies for resolving conflict and for dealing with key issues such as children and parenting, lifestyle and financial decisions, work pressure, career and gender roles that impact on relationships.
• Couple or individual counselling - conducted in one or more private sessions, a relationship counsellor can provide professional advice and practical strategies for enhancing your relationship and resolving areas of difficulty.
• Pre-marriage education - for those about to get married or move in together, there are tailored programs that can help you plan for long term relationship wellbeing, build helpful communication patterns and attitudes to each other. 

When is best?

At the beginning of a relationship or when you are making important decisions — for instance whether to live together, to marry or have children — is a good time to think about:

• what skills you'll need
• what strengths you have as a couple and how to develop them
• how you will face the challenges that crop up when two people share their lives

For those that have been together for a long time, it’s never too late to think about what makes relationships work better.  Perhaps you have an anniversary coming up or you have been through a rough patch - it could be a good time to set new goals together.

Our day-to-day communciation can have significant influence on our relationships.   Click here for some communications tips for connecting with your partner.

Useful resources

• The FRSA Resource Directory has been developed to provide links to useful resources for strengthening relationships.
• The FRSA Service Directory provides contact details for relationship services operating in more than 400 locations across Australia, alternatively call the Family Relationships Advice Line on 1800 050 321 (8am - 8pm Mon - Fri, 10 am - 4pm Sat).
• Relationships Australia has useful information about relationship enrichment including the quiz - How Does Your Relationship Rate?
• Mensline Australia has tip sheets for men and fathers seeking to strengthen their family relationships.

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