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TOXIC LOVE: From Bystander to Active Responder Recognise the type of domestic violence – Respond confidently-eWorkshop- 12th and 19th – February- 2024

February 12 @ 9:30 am - February 19 @ 9:30 am AEDT


Clinical psychologist Indira H. Novic and men’s health expert Dean Quirke shed new light on the epidemic of intimate partner abuse.
They explore the nature of repetitive patterns of abusive behaviours, and the reasons the patterns tend to escalate in frequency and severity.
Reaching out to men motivated to stop abusing their partners, theauthors draw on a psychoeducational approach and offer strategies to
break free from the cycle of violence. By dismantling the dangerous aspects of the perpetrator’s personality that may have become addicted to abusing their family members, perpetrators become freer to create healthier relationships.
The authors also use the psychoeducational approach to assist victims to heal from the trauma of abuse and help them to understand what drives an abuser to repeatedly abuse them. It is easier to heal, relinquish self-blame and protect yourself when you can clearly see why you are experiencing abuse.

This workshop is for all members of the community responding to incidents of domestic and family violence; for people who want to improve skills in communicating with victims and intimate partner abusers; and for all those who want to gain deeper insights into the mechanics behind sustained patterns of domestic abuse.


Day 1:

  • You’ll understand the difference between two types of domestic violence a) situational couple violence (conflict-initiated violence) and b) sustained pattern of violence (the repetitive patterns of violence; 95-98% of perpetrators are men). These two types of domestic violence have different root causes and consequences for the victims.

  • You’ll learn about two types of aggression – instrumental (proactive/predatory/premeditated) and reactive (impulsive/hostile) aggression. You’ll hear about the characteristics of intimate partner abusive behaviours: instrumental Cobra vs. reactive Pit Bull type.

  • You’ll better understand the concept of ‘coercive control’. You’ll hear why coercive control is referred to as intimate terrorism and why the victims feel entrapped. This information can help you to support the victims of DFV more effectively.

  • You’ll learn about female partners of abusive men – their reactions to abuse, and factors that contribute to female victims sometimes being misidentified as perpetrators of DFV.

Day 2: You’ll learn how to respond to intimate partner violence and help those in crisis.

Community members responding to domestic violence situations is not the problem. It’s part of the solution! Partnership with the community is absolutely essential!

– Inspector Ben Martain Queensland Police Service Accurately identifying the person most in need of protection 

To remain neutral is to collude with the abusive man,whether or not that is your goal.

If you are aware of chronic or severe mistreatment and do not speak out against it, your silence communicates implicitly that you see nothing unacceptable taking place.
Abusers interpret silence as approval, or at least as forgiveness. To abused women, meanwhile, the silence means that no one will help—just what her partner wants her to believe. Anyone who chooses to quietly look the other way therefore unwittingly becomes the abuser’s ally.

– Lundy Bancroft, a consultant on domestic abuse and an author of the book:
Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

A – Assess the victim’s situation; acknowledge their experience.
C – Communicate with compassion; include all those caught up in the cycle of abuse.
T – Timely response to provide support/report.
I – Investigate or inquire, through using open questions.
V – Validate feelings and experiences.
E – Empower through emotional coaching.
– Dean Quirke mens health and wellbeing expert and a co-author of the book: Toxic Love: Breaking the Addictive Patterns of Domestic Abuse

When: Monday 12th and Monday 19th February from 9.30am to 12.30pm each day. (AEDT)

Where: Online eWorkshop via Zoom. You will receive the Zoom details when payment is received.

Cost: The early bird booking is $390.00 (GST incl) if registered before 29th January 2024. If registering after 29th January 2024 then the Full Price is $495.00 (GST incl). Payment is required prior to attending the eWorkshop.

To register: Register and complete payment. A Tax Invoice will be emailed to you. The payment needs to be completed before the workshop occurs, for the registration to be fully confirmed.

Facilitator: Dean Quirke

Dean Quirke specialises in men’s health and wellbeing, primary prevention education and community development. His area of expertise is in the use of behavioural science and prevention strategies to help empower boys and men. He has worked and partnered with key stakeholders within the community to tackle a variety of social issues that impact the lives of young men, including domestic violence, youth violence, suicide, social isolation, addictions, unemployment and lack of purpose and direction. In 2015, Dean founded the Young Men’s Group and Empowering Youth; Changing Lives Program. These initiatives have since made an impact in the lives of over 500 young men from all walks of life across Sydney, including Fairfield, Bankstown, Canterbury, Mosman, Maroubra and Botany.

His skills in facilitating workshops are highly sought after in the areas of youth and men’s wellness and community development.

Please note that posting onto the Events & Training calendar is reserved for FRSA Members only.